n. pl. dis·par·i·ties
1. The condition or fact of being unequal, as in age, rank, or degree; difference: "narrow the economic disparities among regions and industries" (Courtenay Slater).
2. Unlikeness; incongruity.
I first witnessed a very drastic, almost vulgar, example of disparity when I accompanied Terran to Kenya to spend the summer with my mother.
I am now seeing displays of disparity on a daily basis ... even minute - by - minute.
Sunday we went as a family (how amazingly beautiful it is to be back together as a family again) to brunch in Gurgaon. The drive is about 30 minutes (without traffic) and we were all SO hungry. Champagne on the house, Todd's drink of choice - also on the house. A children's section with appropriate food selections, movies and a play place that was fully staffed for OUR enjoyment. Cook to order lobster, giant prawns (I promise, you have NEVER seen prawns like these), classic Indian food, and other delectable choices ... my eyes were HUGE.
We left satisfied, stuffed to the gills and happy. Just like we *should* be on a Sunday afternoon, right?
Then as we left, we saw this ::
Disparity is something we witness - with all of our five senses - daily.
We drive in an air-conditioned car to and from our outings ... and while we are driven by Kushal, our driver ... we see people walking in the heat of the day with sweat dripping from their brow.
We eat our lunch at the American Embassy Club on cushioned chairs and with an umbrella over our heads ... and then smell the corn roasting on the sidewalk with children lined up to pay a couple of rupees to eat what might be their only meal for the day.
We see the sights with a virtual tour guide (again, Kushal) pointing out the locations of various places ... while a blinded child raps on our window begging for money.
We live in a home that is quite comfortably large - even by American standards - and complain because our household possessions have still not been delivered ... while others just down the street from us are living under ramshack and makeshift tents.
We let the faucet run aimlessly while we brush our teeth and take long showers ... while just behind the kids' school, the water truck delivers water to families that only can take as much as they can carry ... to then last them an entire week.
I remember when we were in Kenya, thinking that I needed to apologize for having been born in the United States. I felt as though I should feel badly for not appreciating all of the things that I have. I remember struggling with the feeling that I was so spoiled and should not take for granted the fortune that I experienced from the day I was born through today. I have every luxury (for the most part) afforded to me without much effort ... and there are so many that struggle with the simple things in life.
I realized though yesterday that I shouldn't feel undeserving of the life that I've been given ... as long as I DO something with it. As long as I use what I have to better the life of another, I do not need to feel that the disparities are so great that they render me simply coddled or pampered. Instead, I hope to choose actions that enrich the life of someone less fortunate.
There are fine things which you mean to do some day, under what you think will be more favorable circumstances. But the only time that is surely yours is the present, hence this is the time to speak the word of appreciation and sympathy, to do the generous deed, to sacrifice self a little more for others. Today is the day in which to express your noblest qualities of mind and heart, to do at least one worthy thing which you have long postponed, and to use your God-given abilities for the enrichment of someone less fortunate. Today you can make your life - significant and worthwhile. The present is yours to do with as you will. ~Grenville Kleiser
Delhi Time
14 of you said:
I have been checking back every other hour.
You have to understand my girls are from Viet Nam. Same poverty as we westerners adopted their children and brought them to the hilton.It is hard and becomes commonplace BUT we have found a way to give back through a foundation.
You will find a place to give back. You employ how many, that is HUGE? are you making a sacrifice, YES. And with eyes wide open you can make a difference, even if small in a world so different than you are used to.
Wishing you the best-Jenny
Jenny - thank you for that ... eyes wide open, I will be!
Great post -- albeit sad. The disparity is wide and how to help is overwhelming given the fact there are so many people in need. But, I have no doubt you will make a difference. That's how you're wired!
Even after a year of living here and seeing the unbelievable poverty, I'm still bothered by it. Many of my friends are numb to it... but it still breaks my heart.
You could give money, food, clothing all day long and it still wouldn't be enough. It starts at the top... start noticing what the Government and the politicians here are saying. It'll make your head spin! Once they start acknowledging... maybe, just maybe.
Doing something (which is part of who you are) will have a lasting impact on those little eyes watching you too. What you demonstrate to them daily/weekly/monthly through your actions will influence their lives for an eternity. Love you!
Cynthia
I did a post on this a while ago - A Perspective on Poverty'. It's impossible to live with disparity often - heartbreaking!
http://www.passionateaboutbaking.com/2008/10/blog-action-daya-perspective-on-poverty.html
Great post. In the few years I have been here I have found this: India is a land of extremes—extreme wealth and extreme poverty---extreme passion and extreme hate. India defies definition. Once you think you have it figured out, you don’t. Your brain becomes like a rubber band being stretched this way and that. Key is trying to keep perspective and balance between the extremes around you.
I made it a habit to have our leftovers packed up whenever we ate out at a restaurant, and then I'd give them to a beggar on the way home. Yeah, it sounds weird/insulting, giving leftovers to beggars, but at least it is something, and it's food. My husband doesn't like me to give money to beggars too much because he says many of them are begging for organized crime (like in Slumdog Millionaire), etc.
Ditto Sonali, you make a difference everyday with your kids, educating others on your journey through your blog and the impact you have made on more than you know.
Hi Naomi,
First of all congratulations on choosing India......I must say that you will soon come to realise that no place on earth can match the magic of India.......and you know it is nothing but the disparities that exists in this country......May I say that one thing that you will begin to realise in the disparities you had talked about in your post will be the sight of happy faces in those disparity ridden folks! Their happiness quotient is way ahead of people who have all the material wealth and happiness......
India in short is a giant lab where every experiment (whatever you can think or imagine) on human beings in on..... One only need to allow it to sink in slowly and slowly......
I also blog from the perspective of my my 8 month old.....as her narrative; And trust me it is so much fun to bring her life and her thought process into this world as her narrative.....I too have written about some disparities .....from her perspective....let e know your views.....
http://reveda.blogspot.com/2009/07/instant-connections-other-perspective.html
http://reveda.blogspot.com/2009/05/co-existence-of-two-contradictory.html
http://reveda.blogspot.com/2009/05/day-in-my-life.html
Last but not the least, happy staying in India.....Take care all the best
Alok
I think this is something I would have a hard time with. I consciously don't think about things I can't control but actually seeing it in front of my face, as you do, would be difficult.
You are so correct, though, that you should not feel guilty for what you have. It's not as if you achieved it by harming others. Enjoy your life and take joy in that your children will never have to experience the poverty that is around you. YOUR family is what is most important.
I truly understand. Having spent several years growing up in a third world country the differences and magic this great big world has to offer was fully ingrained. I will never forget the amazing sights, smells, sounds and the people. It instills a wanderlust that I hope to never lose, it's a continual "what's around the next corner, what's left to discover mentality". As much as I enjoyed the beauty of the people and culture, seeing the poverty also instills a sense of compassion for others and a sense of thankfulness for what you are and have. When you see the crippled man in the market place and you give that man all you have in your pocket (which as an 11 year old isn't much) but he thanks you profusely and kisses your hand, the backpack you had to have isn't really that important anymore. I still have that backpack to remind me of what's important.
"Everything has either a learning experience to grow on, a memory to reflect on, or a motivating factor to act upon."
Wow, Naomi, this is so powerful. I think so many times we all take for granted all that we have, especially the basic things like food, water, a shirt, a bed, a roof. I tweeted this in the hope that lots of people will read this. You are a very giving and caring person. Life has brought you to India for another reason aside from your husband's job, I am sure....
What a powerful post. You summed it up perfectly and made me think again about the things my family does to help others in this single sentence: "Instead, I hope to choose actions that enrich the life of someone less fortunate."
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